Devora Zack, president of Only Connect Consulting, offers her top 10 tips for sharpening your networking skills

Networking has a bad reputation as a superficial forum for shameless self-promotion. Yet the skill can establish lasting, mutually beneficial connections. Here are my tips for helping you thrive at a board meeting, a convention, or even a cocktail party...

1. Be true to yourself. You are better qualified to be you than anyone else. Reject the advice that demands you behave in ways that drain energy. Harness your natural abilities as strengths rather than liabilities. For example, if you prefer to listen rather than talk, then do that. And if you favour one-on-one conversations, arrange them.

2. Less is more. Be selective. Go to fewer events and be more focused when attending rather than dragging your weary self to every business opportunity and showing up like a "networking prisoner".

3. Plan your first impression. Cognitive scientists say it can take up to 200 times the amount of information to undo a first impression as it takes to make one. But who has that kind of spare time? Show up with the best version of you every time. You never know who you are meeting.

4. Research. Rather than wandering cavernous expo halls at industry events, do your homework. Learn in advance which organisations interest you.

5. Set challenging yet achievable goals. Well-formed targets vary by personality. At a networking programme, task yourself with meeting one or two people, not a dozen. And ensure you follow up (see 10th tip).

6. Show, don't tell. Don't bore others with a canned advert of how marvellous you are-be useful and gracious. Greet others with a warm smile and leap at every chance to be helpful.

7. Spend more time with fewer people. Impress key targets with your knowledge of who they are.

8. Listen. Focus on those around you, asking thoughtful questions. Network using a sincere interest in others rather than promoting yourself.

9. Give yourself a break. When your focus wavers, take a break. Go for a walk, head outside for a breather and jot down notes about those you've met. Restoring your energy pays bigger dividends than pushing through without a pause.

10. Follow up or forget about it. People forget half of what they hear within 48 hours. Write personalised follow-up notes within two days or risk having your remarks erased permanently from the minds of those you impressed.

Devora Zack is author of Networking for People Who Hate Networking, published by Berrett-Koehler