However well we plan, life has a habit of throwing us off course every once in a while. But when things go wrong in our personal lives, we can use the lessons to improve our businesses

In Buddhism, the first Noble Truth is that life is suffering. It's our response to that suffering that dictates how happy or sad we are, so the Buddhist teaching goes. But in business it can often be difficult to take time out to reflect upon the lessons learned from the unplanned, traumatic or otherwise challenging events that life has a tendency of hurling at us. Targets, profit margins, shareholder expectations and a lack of resources, all conspire to limit the time available for personal reflection. Yet, as a new book suggests, life-changing moments should be seen as opportunities for all directors and leaders to rethink their attitude to business.

This is the theory behind Crucibles of Leadership: How to Learn from Experience to Become a Great Leader, by Robert J Thomas. The book takes as its central metaphor the crucible—in medieval times, the vessel in which alchemists attempted to turn base metals into gold. In a leadership context, Thomas writes: "We think of a crucible as a transformative. Unlike a life-stage, which tends to be gradual and patterned, crucibles are trials or tests that corner individuals and force them to answer questions about who they are and what is really important to them. Crucible experiences are not only defining moments, they are also a valuable starting point for developing a personal learning strategy."

Director spoke to five directors and entrepreneurs—from a former inmate of Holloway prison whose flower business is blooming, to a CEO recovering from the death of his child. All have experienced "crucible" moments of their own. And each one describes how they have learned fundamental lessons that they have carried over into their business lives and careers, with remarkable, often inspirational, results.

Food for thought
Who? Jennifer Irvine, founder, the Pure Package
Business lesson learned Trust

Jennifer Irvine doesn't come across as a woman given to self-doubt. As founder of the Pure Package—a gourmet-food service delivering to customers' doors—she built the business from her kitchen table to a multi-million-pound company. Her efforts have scooped her numerous business awards, including Harper's Bazaar Entrepreneur of the Year Award in 2007, BT Business Essence of the Entrepreneur 2006, and London's Shell LiveWIRE Young Entrepreneur of the Year 2005.

An incident two years ago shook her confidence and left her feeling extremely vulnerable, but it also taught her a great deal about how to delegate. Returning to her Notting Hill home on a late September evening, she was attacked in her doorway. The attack left her with a broken leg and finger, but worse still, she was six months pregnant at the time.

Irvine went on to have a healthy baby girl, but was left traumatised by the attack. "For a long time, I couldn't leave the house because of my injuries," she recalls. "And when I finally could leave, I often found that I didn't want to. I was too terrified," she says.

Her team, which she describes as "fantastic", took on a host of new responsibilities. "I might not have known what terrific skills my team has if I hadn't been forced to stop being such a control freak," Irvine says. "People are extremely capable. If you let them get on with their job, they don't let you down."

And because she used the Pure Package service herself during her long convalescence, she was able to critique the business from a new perspective: that of the customer. "I don't think we'd have grown as fast as we have without the new ideas I came up with during that period," she says. "But that doesn't mean I'll be giving my attacker any shares in the company."

Flower power
Who? Gina Moffat, founder, Blooming Scent
Business lesson learned Self-confidence

As Gina Moffat recalls, she had always been interested in floristry, but somehow the timing "was never right" to pursue it. When she was sentenced to six years in London's Holloway prison, she had good cause to feel that the chance to run her own flower shop had eluded her for good. But after studying floristry in prison, and with the help of The Prince's Trust Business Programme on her release, Moffat has been running her own business since May 2007. She's one of 70,000 young people the Trust has helped into business since 1983.

She identifies the turning point that changed her life: "One of my twins said to her nursery, 'My mum works in a prison.' That was it for me." A governor at Holloway introduced Moffat, who admits she was "terrified" of leaving the prison where she had been getting on well, to The Prince's Trust.

With the help of a mentor, she wrote a business plan and was consequently awarded a £4,000 loan. Working from a business unit in north London, she now includes James Caan and the Bernie Grant Arts Centre among her clients. "The Prince's Trust has opened doors for me. I wouldn't have had a chance breaking into the market out of nowhere, because there are so many companies doing what I do," says Moffat.

She explains why she became a Trust ambassador: "I want to try and help them raise £1m a month so they can help people like myself. I can now look people in the face and say, 'this is what I've done'. People from the prison system come and work with me on day release—I'm able to help others and put something back into the community. I enjoy that."

Spirit of adventure
Who? Stuart Lotherington, senior trainer, SBR
Business lesson learned Self-belief

As senior trainer at sales training company SBR, Stuart Lotherington knows a great deal about setting and meeting targets. But in May 2007 he completed a challenge so tough it made him more convinced than ever that all targets are there to be smashed.

Following the break-up of his marriage, and despite strong misgivings, Lotherington decided to sign up for the Polar Challenge, a gruelling endurance race to the North Pole.

Along with team members Martin Palethorpe and Miles Welch, he prepared as best he could to travel the 356 miles of Arctic wasteland, from Resolute Bay in Canada to the magnetic North Pole. Lotherington didn't know how to ski, had never been camping and had certainly never experienced windchill temperatures of -50°C.

Their trip, says Lotherington, was a catalogue of disasters. First, Palethorpe was ordered by doctors to drop out just before the half-way point, as blistering had left him at risk of septicaemia. Then Welch's skis broke. That left Welch and Lotherington taking it in turns to use the remaining pair, while the other walked on foot for miles across the ice. To top it off, weather conditions were unprecedented, even by the Polar Challenge's usual tough standards.

Incredibly, Lotherington and Welch were still the first team to cross the finish line—but they were denied first place because the rules stated all three team members had to finish. They had nonetheless recorded the fastest time ever over the first half of the course and, at 12 days, theirs was among the five fastest times ever recorded.

The sense of achievement got Lotherington wondering if he was underperforming in his business life by setting targets for himself that were too modest. With higher expectations, he brought in two pieces of business worth £20,000 and £40,000, compared with an average client spend of £8,000.

Self-belief is a lesson he's incorporated into his company's training. "All new sales people have to break out of their comfort zones in order to be successful," he says. "I tell them to really push themselves. I now know from experience that the fear of a challenge is always worse than the challenge itself."

As time goes by
Who? Syd Nadim, chief executive, Clock
Business lesson learned To foster a caring ethos at work

When he was made redundant for the second time, Syd Nadim didn't have anywhere to turn. His family home had been repossessed and his girlfriend had "cleared off" as well. But instead of letting the situation get the better of him, Nadim saw it as his chance to start his own business. "I went to the bank to get a loan," he recalls, "because I couldn't get a job. I didn't have any other options, I had to do it myself. I had no skills and no assets. The bank said it could give me a Small Firms Loan Guarantee if I could get funds from The Prince's Trust. I went to them and took it from there."

The Prince's Trust Business Programme helps young people who have struggled at school, have been in care, are long-term unemployed, or who have been in trouble with the law. For Nadim, the mentor he was assigned was the biggest help. "The mentor stays with you for as long as is needed. I learned about accounting and cashflow, and how to write a business plan. When I presented to the panel, I was given a £500 grant and a £3,000 loan."

That was in 1997. Once he'd found a small office to rent—"I slept there for the first five months"—Nadim set about building his digital marketing agency Clock, which now employs 32 people (projected turnover this year is £2.5m). He has two offices in the UK, and one in Shanghai.

Now a Prince's Trust Enterprise Leader, he says his own experience has influenced the way he engages with his employees. "When I was treated so badly all those years ago, I thought I could do it better. That really stuck with me. We genuinely bend over backwards for our staff and have really flexible working policies. We've won 'best of breed' by the [former] DTI for our work-life balance policy. Only four people have left in over 10 years. Our staff retention is amazing."

It's a family affair
Who? Dave Pye, CEO of Highams Recruitment
Business lesson learned Compassion

Back in 2005, life was looking good for Dave Pye. Still in his thirties, he had scaled the corporate ladder rapidly to become UK managing director of Spring Technology, one of the world's largest IT recruitment firms, overseeing a workforce of 1,100 people. His personal life was also thriving—he and his wife had three young children and were awaiting the birth of a fourth.

But life took a tragic turn when the new baby, Billy, was stillborn at 40 weeks. "Nothing could ever prepare you for the kind of shock and grief you feel when something like that happens," he says. "It was a massive trauma."

In the face of such a devastating loss, Pye decided that his family had to be the first priority. "We're a well balanced bunch, but Billy's death hit us all for six," he says. "I was determined that my wife, the kids and I should take time out to honour Billy's life."

So Pye resigned, bought five round-the-world tickets, and the family set off to travel the globe. It was by no means a luxury tour. For three of the four months that the family spent in the Far East, Australasia and Europe, all five were crammed into a modest camper van.

But as well as an opportunity to go through the grieving process, the trip also gave Pye the chance to reassess his priorities in life. "I spent a lot of time thinking about what I had enjoyed about my career to date, and how recent events might influence the way I acted in business in future," he says.

Now chief executive of IT recruitment company Highams Recruitment, Pye says he has a whole new perspective on the world of work. "I'm more appreciative of the stuff people go through in their personal lives," he says. "We're all so accustomed to keeping a stiff upper lip at work that it's easy to forget about compassion and understanding."

He takes more time to listen to people and understand them as individuals, he says. It's proved useful in a business where success is measured in the ability to provide the best fit between a candidate and prospective employer. "A technical match is relatively easy to achieve; a cultural fit is much harder and can only come through a deeper understanding of each party," he says.

"Before Billy's death, I would ask employees, 'How are you?' and hope they'd just say, 'OK'. But you'd be amazed what you find out when you ask them a second time: 'No, how are you really?'"