Do you like your customers? It may seem an odd—even irrelevant—question, but it could explain the missing link between all the guff  talked about customer focus and the apparently inexorable decline in actual customer service. Is there one director out there who really believes that a recorded message offering the solicitous assurance that “your call is important to us and will be handled by the next available operator” will make their customers feel good about their business? Do they think we’re all too stupid to work out that the next available operator might take 20 minutes to materialise? Directors are customers as well: don’t these things annoy them, too? And if they do, how do they manage to shrug off their customer persona so easily when they walk into the office each morning?

I have a grudging respect for Ryanair boss Michael O’Leary, who doesn’t even pretend to like his customers. At least he’s honest. Ryanair’s strict no-refund policy is the source of most of its customer complaints. O’Leary’s

response is uncompromising. He once told a Financial Times journalist: “We don’t fall over ourselves if they… say my granny fell ill. What part of ‘no refund’ don’t you understand? You are not getting a refund so f*** off.”

People fly Ryanair because it is cheap. There is little emotion or loyalty—on either side—and its customers have an inherently short-term transactional relationship with the airline.

But this business model, despite its simplicity, must surely be unsustainable, not because the airline can’t afford to go on offering rock-bottom fares, but because most people crave a more emotional and reassuring connection with the companies from which they buy. This fact was highlighted in a recent survey from marketing agency Joshua on the brands consumers most love and hate.

Despite the appearance of “new economy” businesses such as Google, eBay and Amazon in the top 20 favourite brands, consumers ranked British Airways and Marks & Spencer at numbers nine and 18 respectively—notwithstanding their high-profile problems over recent years and stiff competition from no-frills rivals such as Ryanair and Primark. By contrast, Ryanair came 24th in the most hated list and first among airlines.

These findings suggest that customers’ emotional loyalty is much stronger than companies believe. The British public’s desire to see M&S back on its feet probably played as big a part in the retailer’s recovery as its management. And the public’s affection for BA augurs well for its plans to cut fares to many European destinations: if it can combine its prized brand values with greater accessibility, it could see customers returning in droves.

But companies need to capitalise on this well of loyalty, instead of believing they can cynically manipulate what is commonly perceived to be a growing promiscuity among consumers. It is, after all, companies that encourage this promiscuity in the first place, with their constant attempts to poach each other’s customers by offering new customers better deals than they offer existing ones.

Research firm IDC claims that customer service is the top priority of chief executives, who rank it above product innovation, sales performance and regulatory compliance. They are right to do so: the Joshua survey identified the key differentiator of popular brands as the strength of their customer service (an increasingly important component of today’s product offerings), not their advertising.

But the best way to improve customer service is not to invest in expensive research techniques or pointless customer-relationship management systems, but to experience the company and its products and services as a customer would. How many GNER senior executives have recently tried to buy a standard-class train ticket, for example? Because if they did, they would realise what a complex and expensive nightmare that particular exercise has become.

Putting yourself in your customers’ shoes will help you understand them and what you are selling better. You may even grow to like them. The more you empathise with them, the more likely you are to meet their needs, and the more they will like you. It’s a virtuous circle. Ask M&S boss Stuart Rose.

Jane Simms is the former editor of Financial Director and Marketing Business.

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